Monday, July 19, 2010
I am 21 years old. I am not old; I have not had the many life experiences that age brings. I do feel though that I have learned a strong amount about many of the important things in life so far thanks to the support and guidance of those I’ve built relationships with.
As I meet new people, travel, work, manage my time, plan, and age I have started to become more self-aware. I recognize the values that others hold and the values in which I seek to nurture and grow in myself.
If I peer back at everything I’ve learned, there are many values that have been grafted into me throughout my childhood, teens, and early adulthood with me unaware. One of the important and one that I have overlooked is the commitment of others toward my life; it simply blows my mind every time I think about it…the time, the sacrifices, the lessons, the love, the pure energy of others to put my life before theirs which adds up exponentially.These commitments take up so much time; this valuable time they withdrawal from their days, months, years and put forth for me that can go unnoticed and unappreciated. It is awfully easy for a person to overlook and take advantage the commitments of others.
I have now with age and maturing learned and recognized what has really been sacrificed for me…one day I started scribbling down some of these on a post-it. Quickly the little yellow post-it filled up, followed by another, then little by little my list kept getting bigger until it filled a piece of paper which became two pages not long after. I sat baffled as I gawked over my large list, a feeling of guilt knotted up my throat until I could hardly swallow. I questioned myself…how much have I taken advantage of, how many thank you’s have I forgotten, how much of others time I’ve wasted, how many emotions I’ve toyed with, how I’ve been difficult for no reason, and the unconditional love I’ve let roll over me. It was devastating to consider that I have taken more than I have given, how many emotional bank accounts I have drained without any notion of a deposit.
There is no quick fix band-aid I can apply to express my value of these relationships. There are only interactions, honest change, and truly putting others before myself. True meaning lies within and cannot be faked. I plan on giving back the time I’ve greedily taken from so many in my life. Actions speak louder than words, and my actions shall scream.