Sunday, November 9, 2008
A little read
No doubt whenever you ask someone if they have heard of “Sponge Bob Square Pants” there is always a love or hate answer. Either they love that little yellow sponge or they would rather hear his annoying laugh be drown out as they burn him. Don’t get me wrong I can see how people hate him so much (I just compare them as the Plankton’s of our world). I will admit there is no doubt that I become a little bit dumber after watching each episode of Sponge Bob but I can’t resist. Each character in Sponge Bob’s world of Bikini Bottom plays their special role. I tried to break down what it is about Sponge Bob that I like so much…It only took a few episodes and I figured out it is his endless supply of enthusiasm. Anywhere he goes and anything he does is always happy. I mean who would want to be a full time grill cook at a fast-food restaurant with a cheap ass boss? Well Sponge Bob does and damn he makes it seem like a good time.
There are many other characters in the show but there is one for sure that sticks out. Patrick is Sponge Bob’s best friend and without doubt probably his only true friend. He is the only friend who sees and likes Sponge Bob for who he is rather then what they need from him (ex. Mr. Crabs). Their friendship is not deep, it is not complex, it is simple. Possibly the simplest friendship on television today. It is based upon fun without judgment a true feat in television as well as the real world. When you put Patrick and Sponge Bob together they form a duo that makes Sonny and Cher look like blind date. No matter what happens to Sponge Bob and his dumb witted sidekick they always find a way to stay happy. I was baffled by this dumb love but after a few more episodes I figured out how they do it. The secret formula in the crabby patty. That is it, those burgers that look so delicious makes their worlds spin together. Undoubly there is a large amount of dopamine and serotonin in each patty but they make it work…having a crappy day? Go eat a crabby patty. It all makes sense now; Mr. Crabs is running a drug empire. He is the Tony Montana of Bikini Bottoms and Spounge Bob and Patrick are his personal. Slangin’ crabby patties, gettin’ paid, and hittin’ on Sandy. I was disappointed to figure out their friendship was most likely based on a drug addiction but that’s just a little fact we’ll have to forget about.
Squidward is a punk. Always disagreeing and being a negative nancy. Haaa, haa, ha. God I can hear his droning voice. I got a bone to pick with this punk. Sponge Bob has been on TV for a few years now and Squidward still sucks at playing the clarinet. I mean what the hell don’t you know you suck? Get some lessons already. Also Squidward is always trying to get Sponge Bob out of his life but can’t. I’m sick of hearing his bitching so if it’s such a fucking problem then move. But that’s impossible because Squidward could never move. The truth is that he needs Sponge Bob; Squidward needs Sponge Bob’s undying attention. Without a doubt Squidward was beaten as a baby squid and this is the source of his suck. Without Sponge Bob Squidward would have no one bugging him, no one next door, and no one to even interfear with his life. If Squidward did get the piece and quite he envies he would go crazy. He makes it seem like being alone would be the greatest damn thing on earth but in reality he would hate it. Squidward knows this but still uses his negative front to push away knowing Sponge Bob is so jacked up on crabby patties he’ll keep coming back. So listen Squid quit being an asshole and let down your front.
I’m out. Peace