Desk warming: Tom’s archenemy…his kryptonite, Dr. Evil, Joker.
Reading this one may be curious to what desk warming is. Well, let Tom amuse you…
Desk warming is a period of time (days, weeks, or months) spent at school in which a native English teacher (Tom) has no classes to teach, and no work to do. The time is meant for Tom to prepare lesson materials for the semester. Tom and most other English teachers can complete such a simple task in two days (Tom has been desk warming for 4-weeks now). Desk warming has no limits. Typically teachers spend their time on Facebook, 9gag, email, gaming, dancing, drawing, talking to oneself in third-person, surfing the net, sleeping, grooming, push-ups, daydreaming, or cleaning. However, the list is endless so long as the employee follows the one rule. They must stay on school premises at all times. You may ask, “Why can’t Tom not just go home?” Tom wishes direly that he could be in the comfort of his abode sipping coffee, lounging, or perhaps be out for a walk in the fresh weather currently striking his geographical location. But the mere proposal of such glory breaks the only rule of desk warming; Tom must stay on school property.
In the beginning desk warming didn’t appear to be unpleasant to Tom. He thought killing 8-hours at a desk was simple…read, walk around, Facebook, study Korean, and write. But as time passed Tom’s eyes grew red, his back began to ach and computer screen morphed into a fuzzy blur. The minutes slowed and Tom is sure if he threw a ball in the air it would float there. Wait…Tom needs to try this……………….yep the ball had gravity defining hang time. Newton you crook.
Commence that archenemy: boredom.
If you don’t know, Tom has a mind that’s always turning. His gears shift, clutch, and floor it. The inner mechanics of Tom’s brain do not allow for mediocrity, they are a well-oiled machine running 24/7 365. To burden Tom to his desk is to cage an animal, to put a stick in his spokes, to take the sauce out of his spaghetti.
Let Tom tell you from his adventures this final week of desk warming.
Tom has been occupying his time by reading three books, writing, interneting, coffee (LOTS of coffee) studying Korean, going for walks around the school, and doing research. To the reader this all sounds pretty good. I imagine you are saying to yourself, “I could get caught up on so much. I wish I had desk warming at my job!” HA you fool. Let Tom counter and ask you if you could kill 8 hours doing such? Yes probably…now let Tom ask again, could you kill 40 hours? How about 160 hours? Without distractions, that work you’d get caught up on really only takes a day or two. You still have 144 hours left. What now?
The reader can see how this is driving Tom **c**n* mental. Tom is done writing this post and took a picture of his desk for the reader to enjoy. His desk is very warm today…